We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize