Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
