How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we made out on top of his cat.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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