What a fucking waste of an outfit
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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