My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
