morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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