I'm pants shitting drunk right now
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
