last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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