I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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