you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
