so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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