it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
