Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
