I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
