it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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