BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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