is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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