3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
