I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
