help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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