is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
