He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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