He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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