We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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