I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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