fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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