Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
