i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
