I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
