Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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