I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
