We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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