But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
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It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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