I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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