Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
