haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
