so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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