it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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