They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
