she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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