i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
