He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
