the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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