haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
