coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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