He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
