Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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