i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
be right there i have to get my cape
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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