She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
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I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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