There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize