just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He did a backflip because drugs
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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