i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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