So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
vagina is talking i cant
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
