Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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