I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
