Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
