Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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