Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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