when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
