New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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