how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
